Business

Thinking about Divorce? This Is What You Need to Know

March 1, 2022 By CDSOC

Perhaps you have already tried counseling. Sadly nothing has worked. One or both of you have decided on divorce.

If you decide to divorce the most important next decision you will make for your family is what process to choose.

Divorce has two tracks and they operate simultaneously. There is the Business Track and the Emotional Track. If the Emotional Track is not handled well it can easily knock the Business Track off course, create enormous damage to your family, including your children, as well as cost you more money and time.

The Business Track generally involves attorneys and financial specialists. The Emotional Track benefits from the expertise of a well trained and experienced Divorce Coach.

In most places, there are four ways to get divorced. Unfortunately, many people only know about two options.

Get an aggressive attorney and fight it out
Try to do it yourself.

These two choices above carry significant risks.

Trying to maneuver your way through a complex legal system without professional guidance can be costly.
Family Law can be confusing and it is easy to make mistakes.
Hiring lawyers to fight it out can become a war. There will be winners and losers in your family.
Fighting is expensive. When war starts it can expand beyond your expectations and control.
Losing can mean negative consequences for you and your children.
Even if you “win” the fight, research indicates that legal battles can create physical as well as emotional damage for every member of your family.

How You Can Have a Divorce without Wrecking Your Family and Your Finances

There are other ways to divorce that are focused on helping your family avoid the worst aspects of divorce. In family focused options it does not have to be a battle. If you have children, whether they are minors or adults, their interests and your ongoing relationships with them after the divorce are taken into consideration. Every member of your family benefits when your children are at the center of not in the middle of divorce.

There Are Four Ways to Get Divorced in California

1. Do-it-yourself – described above

2. The adversarial approach. I call this “Combat Divorce.” Each person hires an attorney who represents him/her as if in a war. The emphasis is on winning which is defined as getting the most you can for yourself, no matter how much damage is done to either spouse or the children. As everyone knows, wars are always expensive and there are always innocent casualties. Another big surprise for people who pursue this approach is that instead of you deciding what happens to your children and whatever is left of your assets, the decisions are made by a Judge, who may never get to know either of you. Many people find this thought disturbing, especially when it comes to your children.

More Peaceful and Respectful Ways to Divorce

3. Mediation. For people who are seeking a more Peaceful Divorce, this is a useful approach. It can work well if you are both getting along well and both are equally comfortable with the decision to divorce. This approach gives you more control over the decisions that affect your family’s lives. There are different ways to do this. One way is a team approach where an attorney who is also a trained mediator represents both people. Sometimes each person will also select their own consulting attorney to review the process. An especially helpful way to use a team mediation process is to include a Divorce Coach/Family Specialist, who as a family Communication Specialist, keeps the inevitable emotional issues from blowing the process apart. A variation of this is that some couples prefer for each spouse/partner to have her/his own Divorce Coach instead of a Family Coach. By staying with the more peaceful approaches, you keep control.

4. Collaborative Divorce. As in mediation this approach gives you more control over the decisions that affect your family’s lives. Attorneys, Mental Health Professionals and Financial Specialists who all are trained in Collaborative Divorce and in Mediation compose the Professional Team. Each person has his/her own Collaborative Attorney. Each has their own Divorce Coach to help dampen down the fight and keep the inevitable emotional issues from blowing the process apart.. There is one Neutral Financial Specialist who makes sure that both people have adequate knowledge of the family’s finances. Both can then make informed consensual decisions. When there are children, the divorcing couple also chooses a Neutral Child Specialist This gives the clearest voice to your children’s needs and concerns. Parents keep the children in focus when making hard decisions during your divorce process. In these more peaceful approaches, you keep control. As with mediation, Collaborative Divorce keeps you and your family out of court and all of your private business stays private.

How to Choose a Divorce Coach

It is important to consider their qualifications. The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals provides you with specially trained Collaborative lawyers, mental health and financial professionals to educate, support and guide you in reaching balanced, respectful and lasting agreements.

The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals requires that a Divorce Coach be a licensed mental health professional who also has specialized training and is experienced in working with families going though divorce.

Without those professional standards, there are no there is way to determine whether a person offering services is qualified because there are no official licensing or other official qualifications to qualify as a Certified Coach,

In California our State Affiliate to find a qualified Divorce Professional is https://collaborativedivorcecalifornia.com/.

The Role of the Financial Professional… After 1995 If You Live in Ireland

March 12, 2021 By CDSOC

By Amy Clews, CPA, CDFA, CVA, CFE Addleman & Associates
www.addlemancpas.com

Why do we need a financial neutral in our Divorce?

The month of March is upon us, and many of us are looking forward to St. Patrick’s Day and celebrating all things Irish; however, did you know divorce in Ireland was not even legal until 1995? And if you’re struggling with the six-month waiting period in California, imagine waiting three years in Ireland where divorcing couples must live apart for two of the last three years before they can divorce.

How will a family potentially support two households both temporarily and in the long-term when finances are separate? How will an equitable settlement be achieved so the family can move forward amicably? These are only a few of the financial questions divorcing couples must consider.

In the collaborative process, the financial professional is there to help the couple address financial issues such as: 1) assisting with gathering financial documents, 2) preparing financial analyses, 3) presenting financial analyses to the collaborative team and the couple, and 4) assisting with financial planning for the future. The financial professional will help you plan for the agreements that you decide will work best for your family moving forward.

The financial professional is able to help with various financial analyses depending on your financial needs. Some of these analyses include…

Assisting with Gathering Financial Documents

The financial professional will provide a document request list that details the information and documents requested to complete your financial analyses.

Marital Balance Sheet

What do you own and what do you owe? An assets and debts analysis will help the divorcing couple determine what needs to be divided after considering the tax implications of those assets. For instance, it is important to consider a retirement account is not equal to a cash account.

Income Analysis

How much income is available to provide spousal and child support? An income analysis determines what historical income levels have been for the family. Income sources can include many items such as wages, business income, interest income, dividend income, tax-exempt income, equity awards, and other sources of income.

Needs Analysis

How much money do you need to pay your expenses? A needs analysis is essentially a budget. This budget looks at historical spending and estimates future spending as well.

Tracings

Do you have separate property that is included in your marital balance sheet? If so, tracing may need to be completed to determine the source of monies used for a current asset.

Business valuation

What is our business worth? The financial professional can help determine the value of the business and provide alternatives for owning that business going forward.

Projections

What does my financial future look like? During the collaborative process, the financial professional can assist in researching different financial alternatives to see how different agreements may affect your financial future.

The collaborative process allows you to find your solutions that serve your family. These creative solutions would not be offered in a true litigation environment. A collaborative process also keeps your financial information confidential, which can help heal your family as it moves on to the next chapter.

The Cost of Divorce To Your Business

July 5, 2016 By CDSOC

by Diana L. Martinez Collaborative Lawyer and Mediator, Law and Mediation Office of Diana L. Martinez

Divorce takes an emotional, physical, and financial toll on spouses and their children. But the potential negative effects of divorce don’t stop with the family directly involved. They often spill out past the front door and affect many other people.

When a valued employee is going through the trauma of a divorce, the divorce can affect the entire workplace. The cost to employers can go well beyond absenteeism for a few days here and there to attend court hearings or meetings with the lawyers. Trying to accommodate the employer and the divorce process can prove challenging.

Courthouses are open only between 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. Most lawyers’ offices are only open between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. While some lawyers can be more flexible, most judges and courts cannot. The higher the conflict in the divorce, the more court appearances and the more time spent with the lawyers and in court.

Additionally, less obvious costs include:

“Presenteeism”: The employee who is physically present at work, but unable to focus as a result of the divorce.
Employees wasting valuable work time talking with co-workers about their divorce.
An employee leaving work early due to anxiety attacks or illness related to stress.
Childcare difficulties when the employee can no longer depend on his/her spouse to cover such tasks.

A depressed or distracted employee can end up with impaired judgment which negatively impacts his or her overall job performance. It can lead to safety concerns, injuries, mistakes, and accidents.

In one example, a company’s manager was served with divorce papers two days before the company was to submit a binding bid on a three-year contract for the company’s products through a county bidding process. The employee did his best to balance work with the depression, anger, and fears he experienced due to limited time with his children and concerns about spousal support and child support. The manager submitted the binding bid with an error committed by the distracted employee in the bid. When the company’s bid was opened, it was the lowest bid by approximately 25 percent. The county accepted the bid and the company was forced to abide by it, losing hundreds of thousands of dollars for those three years.

Employers value their loyal and dedicated employees who produce high quality work year after year. But imagine the same kind of employee suddenly hemorrhaging money in legal fees, expert fees, and custody evaluations; or when the same employee is on medication for depression, or is receiving harassing phone calls or disruptions at work from an irate soon-to-be ex-spouse. Even the most understanding and patient employer is ill equipped to provide the safety or emotional support the employee really needs.

Unfortunately, in a worst-case scenario, this can cost the employer a truly valuable employee. It can cost the employee his or her job at the worst possible time, adding to his or her financial hardship and stress.

These same challenges often continue one, two or even five years after the divorce is completed. The higher the conflict during the divorce, the longer the recovery will take. The more time spouses spend in contested court battles during their divorce, the more likely they will continue to battle over modifications to orders after the final judgment is entered.

Many couples facing divorce have found an alternative to the high stress and high cost of a litigated divorce. Spouses who co-create their agreements through an out-of-court process such as mediation or Collaborative Divorce spend less time in court when compared to a litigate divorce, and experience far less stress. Often, they are able to work with a divorce coach, a trained mental health professional, who can help manage the anger, sadness, or frustration they experience.

Children also tend to recover faster when their parents are able to communicate well and act as a team in support of their children. This also adds up to fewer lost workdays because of stress, anxiety, child illness, or childcare challenges after the final divorce decree.

Human resource professionals are starting to recognize the advantages of Alternate Dispute Resolution for all civil matters faced by their employees, including divorce, and often recommend employees consider these methods for divorce and other legal issues.

As an employer, consider these options to help your valued employees navigate the difficult process of divorce:

Be sure your human resources personnel know about out-of-court divorce options. Are they versed in conflict resolution skills? Understanding the emotional and financial trauma is the first step in assisting a valuable employee through the divorce transition. Having the skills to acknowledge the hardship and refocus the employee so they are fully present during work hours requires training and education.

Mediation and Collaborative Practice groups offer general conflict resolution training. The skills taught in such programs are transferable to family conflicts, as well as interoffice conflicts, which can arise during the divorce process.

Many employers recognize the benefits of offering needed support for employees experiencing trauma through Employee Assistance Programs (EAP). EAPs often include referrals to mental health professionals and divorce lawyers. Does your EAP provider have knowledge about out-of-court divorce options? Can it provide a referral to a Collaborative Divorce practice group or family law mediators?

Collaborative Divorce, like mediation, is an out-of-court, solutions–focused process for completing a divorce. Because it is an out-of-court process, an employee can meet with their professionals outside of work hours including evenings and weekends.

The Collaborative Process is especially useful in high-conflict or more complex divorces typically taking two to three years to resolve through the court system. Most Collaborative Divorces are resolved within 12 months, and can cost far less than a comparable litigated courtroom case.

Divorce Options Workshops: These workshops are held in the evenings and weekends. A family law lawyer, divorce financial professional and a divorce coach present information about the divorce process, and answer general questions. Taking the mystery out of the divorce process itself reduces the anxiety and stress typically associated with an impending divorce. Some programs are offered at no cost while others charge a nominal fee.

Provide online resources such as:
- International Association of Collaborative Professionals
- Collaborative Practice California
- Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County
- Southern California Mediation Association

We all experience conflict in various aspects of our lives. The conflict can either escalate to the point of losing an employee, spouse, or friend, or it can strengthen those same relationships. It can mean the difference between a productive employee and happy customers or a company with a high employee turnover and a reputation for rude staff. Companies that support their employees during personal challenges like divorce will reap the benefits in terms of their bottom-line and their reputation.