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Diana L. Martinez and Tracy McKenney Receive Eureka Award

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Statewide award honors Collaborative Practice professionals

Media Contact: Gayle Lynn Falkenthal, APR 619-997-2495 or gayle@falconvalleygroup.com

(Irvine, California) – Family law attorney Diana L. Martinez and financial professional Tracy McKenney were honored as recipients of the 2017 Eureka Award, bestowed annually by Collaborative Practice California. Martinez and McKenney received their awards at Conference XII held in Redondo Beach, California. McKenney’s award was bestowed posthumously; she served as CDSOC president before her death due to cancer in September 2016.

Eureka Award winners for 2017 Diana L. Martinez (left) and Scott McKenney for his late wife and former CDSOC board president Tracy McKenney at the 2017 Collaborative Practice California conference.
Eureka Award winners for 2017 Diana L. Martinez (left) and Scott McKenney for his late wife and former CDSOC board president Tracy McKenney at the 2017 Collaborative Practice California conference.

The Eureka Award recognizes and honors those who “have made significant contributions and demonstrated an abiding dedication to establishing and sustaining Collaborative Practice in California.”

Diana L. Martinez is a committed Collaborative professional who has tirelessly served the California Collaborative community for many years. Ms. Martinez has devoted 100 percent of her family law practice to out-of-court dispute resolution including Collaborative Practice since 2007. She is passionate about educating others about the benefits of Collaborative Practice through personal contact. Ms. Martinez is a noted trainer and educator for legal, financial, and mental health professionals locally and nationwide on family law topics including Collaborative Practice, confidentiality, cultural competency, and ethics and best practices. She has presented to state and local bar associations and legal organizations, law schools and practice groups.

Ms. Martinez is a frequent guest lecturer for community Divorce Options and Divorce Recovery programs and a volunteer mediator for multiple county superior courts. Ms. Martinez has served on governing boards of Collaborative Practice regional groups in three counties, multiple statewide Collaborative Practice committees, and is a past president and current board member of CDSOC. Her dedication has resulted in “Super Lawyers” recognition and a perfect 10/10 rating in peer and client online reviews.

Eureka Award winner Diana L. Martinez at the 2017 Collaborative Practice California Conference with keynote speaker Brian Miller. Martinez also served as Conference Chairperson.

Upon receiving her honor, Martinez said, “it was an incredible surprise, and humbling honor, to receive the award this year; especially to receive it at the same time as my friend and colleague, Tracy McKenney. I’m so fortunate to have connected with those whom I consider as leaders in Collaborative Practice, education, and awareness, including previous Eureka Award winner Carol Hughes, who presented me with my award. I have so much support from the Orange County practice group, and am surrounded by so many dedicated professionals, that it makes it easy to be passionate about this work.”

Tracy McKenney was a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Certified Financial Planner with a passion for training and education in Collaborative Practice. Ms. McKenney devoted her professional efforts to helping families during the divorce process make informed decisions. Ms. McKenney helped couples determine how their decisions would affect their family’s future including sending children to college, property ownership, and retirement.

McKenney supported Collaborative Practice as treasurer and later as President of CDSOC. She was instrumental in bringing the “Divorce Options” workshop program into Orange County colleges and guiding CDSOC toward improved training and higher standards of practice. McKenney was a member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, Association of Divorce Financial Planners and the Financial Planning Association of Orange County.

Tracy McKenney at a CDSOC planning meeting in 2016 prior to her illness. Photo: Leslee Newman

McKenney lost her battle with cancer in September 2016 while serving as CDSOC President. Her husband, Scott McKenney, accepted the Eureka Award on her behalf from her colleague and fellow recipient Diana L. Martinez.

“My children and I want to thank CP Cal and Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County for posthumously awarding my wife, Tracy McKenney, with the Eureka Award for her efforts in Collaborative education. I was honored to accept the award on her behalf,” said Scott McKinney.

“At her core, Tracy loved helping people.  It’s what she was all about, it was her calling. Tracy was deeply passionate about the Collaborative Divorce process as a way of getting through one of life’s most difficult challenges in any couple’s life with the least amount of stress and breakage: both family and financially.

“Tracy believed so much in the power of the Collaborative Process, and that it was her mission to spread the word throughout Southern California.  She developed educational classes and led them with her professional teammates at local community colleges throughout Orange County.  Her desire was to educate and raise awareness that there are alternatives to litigation for divorce that reduces pain and suffering for all involved.

“Tracy would be deeply honored and humbled with this award, and I know she is smiling with thanks to be recognized in the field she felt so strongly about and worked so hard to nurture. On behalf of the McKenney family, thank you very much from the bottom of our hearts,” said McKenney.

In her own words, McKenney described why it was important for her to be involved in CDSOC. She said, “Collaborative Divorce represents a significant advancement in resolving divorce respectfully. Going through a divorce is in some ways harder than dealing with the death of a loved one. It worsens when the process is dragged out through contentious, time-consuming and costly litigation in court. In so many cases, couples can avoid the damage of a court battle, even when they aren’t sure they can cooperate. Our approach makes it possible.

“Collaborative Divorce keeps decision-making in the hands of the couple. It spares them and especially their children the duress from an acrimonious divorce, preventing lasting harm, and preserving the family relationships for a healthier future,” said McKenney.

The Eureka Award is not limited to those in any particular practice or career. Previous honorees include members of the core disciplines – mental health, financial, and legal – as well as those who are not licensed in these professions.

Martinez and McKenney join a distinguished list of previous recipients from Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County, including Leslee Newman (2009), Carol Hughes (2011), Bart Carey (2012), Brian Don Levy (2013), and Cathleen Collinsworth (2015), making Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County among the three most honored regional practice groups in California.

The Eureka Award was established in 2006 as part of the very first Celebration of Collaborative Practice in Sonoma, California and actually pre-dates the founding of CP Cal. In its first two years, the Eureka Award Committee chose to play “catch up” and honored several recipients each year. In 2008, the CP Cal Board chose to limit the Eureka Award to three to five Honorees.

About Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County

Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County (CDSOC) was founded in 2003 to advise couples in Orange County about out of court options to traditional divorce litigation. Our group consists of experienced family law attorneys, licensed mental health professionals, and credentialed financial professionals, all of whom are specially trained in Collaborative Practice, mediation, and conflict resolution. Working under the Collaborative Practice model, the result is a divorce guided with respect and compassion in a non-adversarial way so families can make the best possible decisions about their future.

Orange County Collaborative Professionals Contribute Expertise at California Conference

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Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County members Diana L. Martinez (left) and John Denny will serve on the Collaborative Practice California Board of Directors for 2017-2018. Martinez is a board member; Denny will serve as President. Photo: Courtesy Cathleen Collingsworth

Twelve members of Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County contributed their professional expertise to the annual Collaborative Practice California (CP Cal) Conference XII, held in Redondo Beach, California from April 28 – 30.

Cathleen Collinsworth, a CP Cal Delegate for 2017-2018 and a workshop presenter, said, “This year’s theme of ‘Harnessing the Energy’ came true. The energy was very evident throughout the entire weekend. It is my hope those of us who attended can keep that energy going throughout the coming year.”

Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County member Scott Cramer (left) believes it’s important to work hard and play harder! Seen here with San Diego practice group member Mark Hill in a "guest appearance" with Hill’s band "No Country For Old Men."
Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County associate member Scott Cramer (left) believes it’s important to work hard and play harder! Seen here with San Diego practice group member Mark Hill in a “guest appearance” with Hill’s band “No Country For Old Men.” Photo: Courtesy Cathleen Collingsworth

Also presenting workshops were Bart Carey, Patrice Courteau, Dr. Carol Hughes, and Diana L. Martinez.

CSDOC member and Orange County based family law attorney John Denny received the gavel from outgoing CP Cal President Lisa Zonder, and will serve as CP Cal President for 2017-2018. Also serving with Denny on the board of directors is Diana L. Martinez.

CDSOC member John Denny will serve as Collaborative Practice California President for the 2017-2018 term.
Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County member John Denny will serve as Collaborative Practice California President for the 2017-2018 term. Photo: Courtesy Cathleen Collingsworth

Collinsworth expressed her desire on behalf of the conference attendees to continue collaborating together in their daily work, as well as their daily lives, and continue to educate all they meet on the value of peacemaking.

Why a Collaborative Pre-nup Makes Cents

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by Suanne I. Honey Attorney at Law, CFLS, Mediator and Collaborative Attorney

Sorry for the silly pun when this is such a serious topic. Seriously, though, pre-nuptial agreements are hot topics which give rise to many emotions.

“It paints the Devil on the wall.”

“It is anticipating failure of the marriage.”

“If he or she really loved me, this would not be necessary.”

“I am uncomfortable talking about finances.”

The list can go on and on. Sometimes emotions are an unnecessary waste of energy. Other times emotions have some benefits, even negative emotions. For example, fear in a dark alley in a dangerous neighborhood will cause you to be zealously vigilant about your surroundings which will lead you into taking appropriate steps for your safety … much like the pre-nuptial agreement itself.

Unfortunately, statistics today are not favorable for a lasting marriage. If and when there is a decision to get divorced, the person you once loved turns into the enemy. There is often a total lack of trust at the time of a divorce. There are fights over money, property, and other issues creating stress for both partners. This stress almost always filters down to the children.

Collaborative Law is a process where couples work with a team of expert professionals.

The mental-health professionals work individually with each partner to a marriage (or a potential marriage). They help curb their emotions and phrase their individual needs and wants in a positive, cooperative and logical way, allowing those needs and wants to really be heard and understood by the other partner.

The financial professional will be able to identify and sort out the financial and property issues of concern to the couple in a transparent and logical way.

The Collborative Practice attorneys will help guide their clients through the legal quagmire. This can all be done in a much less stressful, more cooperative way in the collaborative arena.

While important, none of that is the real reason that Collaborative pre-nups make the most “cents.”

The biggest reason for marriages to fail is the breakdown in communication. Having gone through a divorce in the Collaborative law process, many (if not most) participants say if they’d gone through this process before the marriage, the divorce would be much less likely.

So it makes “cents” to have your pre-nuptial agreement created in the Collaborative setting. Because of the communication skills learned by the couple during the process, it may help avoid a future divorce altogether. This saves a great deal of “cents” paid to attorneys and litigation, or future Collaborative Divorce costs.

Even if the unthinkable happens and there is a future divorce, you will come out ahead. Having learned how to conduct difficult conversations in a way that allows your spouse to hear and understand your position, even discussing issues in the divorce process that were not part of the original prenup will save many “cents.”

Most importantly, the stress level exposed to any children during your divorce will be significantly reduced. This is an outcome which is “priceless.”

Learn Your Divorce Options at Spring Workshops

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Informative seminars help you learn about the different divorce processes

If you are struggling to find answers for your difficult questions about divorce, attend one of the Spring Divorce Options workshops offered by Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County.

The workshops take place at Orange Coast College, 2701 Fairview Road, Costa Mesa, California. The final date for spring 2017 is:

  • Thursday, April 20, 6 – 9 p.m.

Register online at the Orange Coast College website here (enter “Divorce Options” in the search box), or by phone at 714-432-5880, extension 1 (Monday – Friday, 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. only). For additional details, visit our Divorce Options page here. The seminar cost is $55 per person and includes all materials.

Our goal is helping people in a diverse range of situations. Divorce is difficult and stressful even under the best of circumstances. It can be especially hard if you have children or economic difficulties. Divorce affects people from all walks of life, and no two situations are alike.

We know from experience it IS possible despite challenges to preserve the emotional and financial resources of the family while respecting everyone’s needs during a divorce.

Led by volunteer attorneys, financial specialists, and mental health professionals who are members of Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County, the workshop will cover the full range of choices couples have as they contemplate divorce, focusing on the non-adversarial, out-of-court options.

Getting answers to your tough questions at the next Divorce Options workshop will help you weather the storm.
Getting answers to your tough questions at the next Divorce Options workshop will help you weather the storm.

Divorce Options provides unbiased information about self-representation, mediation, collaborative divorce, and litigated divorce. The workshop deals with the legal, financial, family and personal issues of divorce in an informational and compassionate small group setting.

The Divorce Options program welcomes anyone thinking about divorce or other relationship transitions including co-habitating couples with children or LGBT couples looking for a process aware and respectful of their unique needs. Divorce Options offers useful information adaptable to a wide variety of family circumstances.

Topics include:

  • Litigation, mediation and collaboration – the risks and the benefits of each process
  • Legal, financial, psychological and social issues of divorce
  • How to talk about divorce with your children
  • Guidance from divorce experts

By learning about divorce and the different process options available you can maximize your ability to make good decisions during the difficult and challenging time. Divorce Options is a workshop designed to help couples take the next step, no matter where they are in the process. It identifies strategies to help you stay out of court, and helps you identify the social, emotional, legal, and financial issues that are most pressing for you.

Presented as a community service by the members of Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County.

 

Mom and Dad, Here’s What I Need During Your Divorce

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by Jann Glasser, Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT), Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Coach/Psychotherapist, Collaborative Coach

For children, divorce can be stressful, sad, and confusing. At any age, kids may feel uncertain or angry at the idea of their parents splitting up.

As a parent, you can make the process and its effects less painful for your children. Helping your kids cope with divorce means providing stability at home and attending to your children’s needs with a reassuring, positive attitude. It won’t be easy, but these tips can help your children cope.

A Child’s Wish List During Their Parents’ Divorce

  • I need both of you to stay involved in my life. Please communicate with me. Make phone calls, send texts and ask me lots of questions, but respect my right not to answer all the time. When you don’t stay involved, I feel like I’m not important and that you don’t really love me.
  • Please stop fighting and try hard to get along with each other. Try to agree on things that have to do with me. When you fight about me, I think that I did something wrong and I feel guilty.
  • I love you both and want to enjoy the time that I spend with each of you. Please support me and my separate time with each of you. If you act jealous or upset when I am with my other parent, I feel like I need to take sides and love one of you more than the other.
  • Please communicate directly with my other parent so that I don’t have to send messages back and forth. I don’t want to be your messenger.
  • When talking about my other parent, please say only nice things, or don’t say anything at all. When you say mean, unkind things about my other parent, I feel like you are expecting me to take your side.
  • Please remember I want both of you to be a part of my life. I count on my mom and dad to raise me, to teach me what is important, and to help me when I have problems. Please choose not to be another one of my problems!

It’s normal to feel uncertain about how to give your kids the right kind of support through your divorce. It may feel like uncharted waters, but you can successfully navigate this uncertain time—and help your kids emerge from it feeling loved, confident, and strong.

Your patience, reassurance, and a listening ear can minimize tension as children learn to cope with new circumstances. By providing routines kids can rely on, it reminds them they can count on you for stability, structure, and care.

As you establish a working relationship with your co-parent, you help your kids avoid the stress that comes with watching parents in conflict. During this transitional time, you can’t be without some feelings of uncertainty and stress yourself, but you can greatly reduce your children’s pain by making their well-being your top priority. Put them at the center of your interests – not in the middle of your battlefield.

Members Lend Expertise at Collaborative Divorce Education Institute 3-Day Training

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Experienced legal, financial, and mental health Collaborative Practitioners from Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County shared their expertise at the 2017 Three-Day Collaborative Divorce Interdisciplinary Team Training in January.  Through lectures, discussions, and group participation, the training team helped both new and experienced Collaborative Professionals to develop more skills and a new understanding of how to support and lead their clients to a successful resolution without resorting to litigation.

If you missed this year’s event, be sure mark your calendar for next year’s training in January 2018.

Scenes from the 2017 Collaborative Divorce Education Institute 3-Day Training at National University in Costa Mesa, California.
Scenes from the 2017 Collaborative Divorce Education Institute 3-Day Training at National University in Costa Mesa, California.

The Most Effective Way to Reduce the Cost of Your Divorce or Civil Dispute

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by Brian Don Levy, Esq., Collaborative Attorney and Mediator

What single item can add the most cost to your divorce or civil dispute?  Acting or reacting based on emotional thinking, or making unilateral decisions that are based in emotional thinking.  It is critical to understand how our emotions can drive our thinking and our behavior, and it is important to manage those emotions in a healthy way that allows for understanding viable solutions and facilitates well thought out problem solving.

Every legal and financial decision is potentially wrapped in emotion, and those emotions can prevent us from fully understanding our options and choosing the options that make the most sense going forward.  For almost every divorcing couple or civil disputant, trust is usually broken and communication is not working very well, if at all.  Bringing broken trust and poor communication into the decision-making process is not a good recipe for success.

Therefore, communication coaches are an important investment to be made in achieving a long term satisfying outcome for those in conflict.  I use the term “investment” because failure to understand and manage emotions is a huge cost inflator for those engaged in civil and family law disputes.  The valuable work provided by the communication coach is a cost savings mechanism as well as a valuable resource for those in conflict.

Our emotions determine the “elevator music” that plays in the background of all we do.  Going through a divorce or civil dispute creates uncertainty and ambiguity, which can drive fear.  If fear is the background music playing in our minds at times of conflict, then our ability to process choices and achieve informed consent is limited if not impeded.  Having a communication coach to work with allows a sounding board to check in and assess if we are reacting from an emotional standpoint rather than a legal or financial standpoint.

Having a communication coach also makes it easier for the client to stay present and focused, manage their emotions, and moderate their behavior.  It has been my experience in working with clients embroiled in civil and family law disputes that communication coaches can assist in measurable ways on many levels, including:

  • Helping client create enhanced safety zones;
  • Helping client cope with strong emotions and stress;
  • Helping client to practice effective communication;
  • Helping client remove barriers to communication;
  • Facilitate necessary and difficult conversations;
  • Check in with clients and make sure they stay on task; and
  • Coach the client to the finish line of their dispute resolution process;

Collaborative Law is a unique process that utilizes an integrated team of professionals working together to help people involved in all types of civil and family law disputes to co-create agreements that will be durable and lasting.  Each professional is highly trained in his or her specific profession and all professionals work together to support a healthy outcome.  The integrated team of Collaborative professionals includes legal professionals, financial professionals and communication coaches to support a conflict resolution process that promotes healthy and sustainable outcomes.

Communication coaches are a vital component to the interdisciplinary team of professionals to help us separate the fear or anxiety from the decision-making process so that clients can remain fully present in meetings and in making the important decisions that must be made in a way that will be satisfying, durable and lasting.

Experience is not Expensive.  It’s Priceless!

Resolve to Improve Your Practice in 2017: Attend CDEI Three-Day Interdisciplinary Team Training – Fundamentals and Beyond

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Resolve to improve your professional practice in 2017 by attending the Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County in cooperation with Collaborative Divorce Education Institute’s (CDEI) Interdisciplinary Team Training January 26-28, 2017 at National University in Costa Mesa, California.

As an intermediate or senior legal, financial, or mental health practitioner, which of the following are true at this stage of your career?

•    You are tired of the grind of litigation in divorce and civil litigation
•    You are tired of toxic personality clients only interested in going to war
•    You are tired of being the “middle man/woman” and the client’s only resource
•    You want to shift your practice orientation from litigation to collaboration, mediation or other out of court resolution processes
•    You want to spend more time working with motivated, quality clients
•    You want to dramatically reduce your receivables and your professional stress
•    You want to help your client put their personal, financial, and social goals at the forefront of their settlement process
•    You want to improve your listening, coaching, and assessment skills
•    You want to learn new ways to communicate with your clients and other professionals in a way that you can be heard and understood
•    You want to experience clients who value the outcomes of their settlement process choices
•    You want to focus on the end goals, manage emotions, and create independence
•    You want to teach clients problem-solving and coping skills
•    You want to preserve family relationships and lessen stressors
•    You want to renew your enthusiasm for your practice and your career

The Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County (CDSOC) in cooperation with Collaborative Divorce Education Institute’s (CDEI) Three Day Collaborative Interdisciplinary Team Training will provide intermediate to advanced training which will meet or exceed minimum membership requirements of most local collaborative law practice groups. It is also beneficial for practitioners who want to develop more skills and a new understanding of how to support, lead your client, and extend your professional skill toolbox by developing a deeper understanding of informed consent, providing you with best practice forms, and equipping you with the next generation thinking of how to lead clients to agreement readiness.

Whether or not you are interested in becoming a Collaborative Professional, this Three-Day Training will strengthen your skills in Alternative Dispute Resolution, which can help you even in a litigated divorce or civil matter to de-escalate conflict and offer new ways to approach negotiation and compromise.

Don’t miss out.  Seating is limited. For more information and to register, visit https://www.cdei.info/3daytraining.html

Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County certifies this activity has been approved for MCLE credit by the State Bar of California in the amount of 19 hours.

We are awaiting approval from the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists for 19 CEU hours. We also anticipate CEUs will be available for Certified Divorce Financial Analysts.