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Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County

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Leslee Newman

12 Reasons To Create Your Premarital Agreement Using the Collaborative Process

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by Leslee J. Newman, CFL-S, Family Law Attorney
Orange, California

  • Each premarital partner selects their own Collaborative attorney to represent him or her from the very beginning of the premarital Collaborative Process. You and your Collaborative attorney work together until the premarital agreement is completed and signed.
  • Neutral professionals such as a financial planner and/or a Collaborative coach may also be added to your Collaborative team to help you and your partner develop and fully understand your goals as a couple, and the legal and financial ramifications of your decisions.
  • Before any drafting takes place, you and your partner are encouraged to express your thoughts and concerns about what you plan to build together as joint property and what you want to maintain as separate property.
  • Full disclosure of the property and debts of each premarital partner is exchanged including some verification of each asset and each debt.
  • After full discussion, disclosure, and agreement is reached by the premarital couple, the agreement is drafted through the participation of both Collaborative attorneys.
  • After the draft of the premarital agreement is completed, the draft is fully discussed and explained to each premarital partner by his or her Collaborative attorney.
  • Additional drafts and revisions are encouraged by the Collaborative team until both members of the premarital couple are fully educated and satisfied with your agreement.
  • The Collaborative Process takes most of the stress out of the creation of a premarital agreement at a time when you are undergoing the tension and burden of planning your wedding.
  • With the premarital agreement completed, you can concentrate on your wedding plans, the joy of your wedding day, and your honeymoon.
  • After you are married, if there are any changes you wish to make to your property or financial planning, you can return to any of the members of your Collaborative team for assistance.
  • If you should divorce, your premarital agreement should be enforceable by California law because of the guidance of your Collaborative professionals, and the multiple opportunities you each had to discuss, question, and revise your agreement.
  • In the event a divorce occus, the Agreement should serve as a roadmap to simplify your divorce, make it move along more quickly and in most cases make it less expensive. Additionally, you may stay in the Collaborative Process for your divorce agreement, with some or all of the original Collaborative professionals assisting you who already know you and your spouse.

Your Six Different Divorce Alternatives

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by Leslee J. Newman, CFL-S, Family Law Attorney
Orange, California

1.  Self-Representation (“Pro-Per”)

Both parties may consult with attorneys, but decide to represent themselves in or out of court. Both parties are ultimately responsible for the agreements and paperwork that goes to the court for filing including the final Judgment.

Leslee Newman
Leslee Newman

2. One-Party Representation

One party is represented by an attorney and the other is not. Generally, the party who has the attorney is responsible for drafting the paperwork, and the unrepresented spouse would get advice as to what he or she wants included in the final Judgment.

3. Both Spouses Have Representation

Both spouses have their own litigation counsel, and try to settle parts of the case through settlement discussion. If they are unable to settle some or all of the issues, the case goes to court for a judge to make the decisions for the spouses.

4. Mediation

Both spouses retain the same mediator who acts as their neutral facilitator and does not represent either party. Depending on the style of the mediator, and whether or not the mediator is an attorney, the spouses may have the benefit of being educated as to the law, available options, recommendations, and suggestions, etc. If the mediator is an attorney, there is the added advantage of accurate drafting of the court forms, and the Judgment of Dissolution of Marriage.

Because the mediator is a neutral party, the mediator encourages both spouses to consult and review the Judgment with other attorneys before signing. There is also a confidentiality privilege in the California Evidence Code, called the mediation privilege, which can help to protect the privacy of the mediation process. If the spouses are able to settle all of the issues of their case through mediation, they do not have any court appearances.

5. Collaborative Practice

The Collaborative Process features an integrated team of professionals. Each spouse retains their own Collaborative lawyer, and a divorce coach who is a mental health professional assisting with the communication, the emotion of the divorce, and helping to regulate the interaction between the parties. The neutral professionals on the team are a financial specialist (forensic or financial planner), and a child specialist, if there are minor children or adult children still living with the parents.

Through the Collaborative Process, the spouses and their professional team enter into a written agreement with the understanding that if the collaborative process breaks down before the entry of the Judgment or completion of the case, then the professional team, including the attorneys, are disqualified from going to court and continuing on the case.   This process usually includes the privilege of confidentiality in the written stipulation to begin the collaborative case.

6. Cooperative Process

The cooperative process begins with an informal agreement between the spouses and their attorneys not to go to court, but to conduct settlement discussion and face to face meetings to settle the issues of the case.   Unlike collaborative practice, however, the spouses and their attorneys are not disqualified from going to court if there are any issues that cannot be settled out of court.

Tracy McKenney named President of Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County

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New board named to serve 2016-2017 term August 4, 2016  Contact: Gayle Lynn Falkenthal, APR
619-997-2495 or gayle@falconvalleygroup.com

(Irvine, California) – Tracy McKenney, CDFA, CFP, has been named President of Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County for the 2016-2017 term. McKenney is a Certified Financial Planner and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst in private practice based in Irvine, California.

Joining McKenney on the 2016-2017 Board of Directors are:

  • President-Elect: Therese Fey
  • Vice President: Patrice Courteau
  • Secretary: Diana L. Martinez
  • Treasurer: Leslee Newman
  • Advertising and Marketing Chair: Yaffa Balsam
  • Membership Chair: Marvin L. Chapman
  • Training and Education Chair: Suanne Honey
  • Speakers Bureau Co-Chairs: Carol Hughes and Bruce Fredenburg
  • Website Chair: Sara E. Milburn
  • Member at Large: Jann Glasser

“It is important to me to be involved in an organization like Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County. Collaborative Divorce represents a significant advancement in resolving divorce respectfully,” said McKenney. “Going through a divorce is in some ways harder than dealing with the death of a loved one. It worsens when the process is dragged out through contentious, time-consuming and costly litigation in court. In so many cases, couples can avoid the damage of a court battle, even when they aren’t sure they can cooperate. Our approach makes it possible.

“Collaborative Divorce keeps decision-making in the hands of the couple. It spares them and especially their children the duress from an acrimonious divorce, preventing lasting harm, and preserving the family relationships for a healthier future,” said McKenney. “In most cases, it is less expensive than a litigated divorce.”

“Our goal for the coming year is to make more couples in Orange County aware of Collaborative Divorce,” said McKenney.

About Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County

Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County (CDSOC) was founded in 2003 to advise couples in Orange County about out of court options to traditional divorce litigation. Our group consists of experienced family law attorneys, licensed mental health professionals, and credentialed financial professionals, all of whom are specially trained in Collaborative Practice, mediation, and conflict resolution. Working under the Collaborative Practice model, the result is a divorce guided with respect and compassion in a non-adversarial way so families can make the best possible decisions about their future.

CDSOC is online at https://cdsoc.com/, and Facebook.

Recovering From the Fog of Divorce

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by Leslee J. Newman, CFL-S, Family Law Attorney

Members of Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County had a wonderful opportunity to train with Vicki Carpel Miller and Ellie Izzo, Collaborative mental health professionals from Scottsdale, Arizona. Miller and Izzo discussed how people going through divorce are often in a “fog” of confusion and paralysis. Our job as competent and compassionate Collaborative professionals is to help each of the spouses to “recover” through what we hope will be a transformative process through Collaborative Practice.

How does this happen? By the use of a cohesive and skilled team of Collaborative professionals—attorneys, mental health, and financial professionals– who can alert you, educate you, and bring you out of the chaos and into the sunlight.  This can be done by identifying the different phases of transition and encourage the following stages of recovery:

Recovery Mode: Burned out, over stimulated. Trying to be productive is hard. Transition by focusing on the basics like adequate sleep, water, exercise, the comfort of friends, etc.

You have a little bit more energy but still hard to focus.  Start by creating new experiences in your life by meeting new people, learning something new, and reaching out to others you haven’t seen in a while.  Novelty will help to stimulate you

Work Mode: Start to fix, clean, organize and maintain.  The energy is starting to recover as you catch up with work and tasks that you’ve let slide.

Self Mode: Start to think about yourself, your values, beliefs, and interests.  Start to make decisions that are best for the long term even if those decisions are hard to make.

Flow Mode: By now you should have identified at least one interest that you are ready to pour your soul, time, and energy into developing something bigger than  yourself.

People Mode: Repair important relationships and have necessary and difficult conversations with friends, relatives, and colleagues.

Gold Mode: You’ve developed a positive outflow of energy as you have solidified goals, relationships, your work, and your values.  You are feeling much more resilient  and your energy to concentrate has been restored.  You are now open to switching modes when faced with future random events.

Have you faced a previous crisis in your life, or family transition like divorce, which led you from a “fog” to strength.  If so, please share.

The Gray Divorce

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by Leslee J. Newman, CFLS, Family Law Attorney

Although divorce rates in the United States have seen a decrease in the last decade, divorce rates for couples over 50 have doubled. According to U.S. Census Bureau data, in 2010, one out of every 20 people in the U.S. who divorced was over the age of 65!   Now, with the retirement of the “Baby Boom” generation (persons born between 1946 and 1967), the numbers of divorcing seniors is expected to escalate.  This phenomenon is often referred to as “gray divorce.”

Some reasons for this increase in gray divorce include the following:

  • There’s no longer a social stigma for seniors divorcing.
  • Seniors are living longer and are generally healthier.
  • Our culture promotes happiness.

A few years ago, a Chicago area billboard advertised divorce with a message that life was too short to be miserable.

Are you a senior and contemplating divorce? Have you helped a parent, colleague or friend who was in their 50s, 60s, or older get through their divorce? Does it make sense financially for a senior married couple to divorce?