Collaborative Divorce

Private and confidential
Preserves family relationships
Less/no time in court
You decide the outcome
Informed decisions – Financial, Family, and Legal
Agreements you can rely upon

The Collaborative Process

The Collaborative Process is a healthier way to divorce.

The end of a marriage or relationship can be tragic. The traditional process of divorcing only adds to the pain. You and your spouse may come to see each other as adversaries and the divorce as a battleground. You may experience feelings of confusion, anger, loss and conflict. Whatever you feel, it is even worse for your children.

Under such circumstances, you might find it difficult to see an end to divorce, much less imagine a hopeful future afterwards.

Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County’s message to you: It doesn’t have to be this way. A growing number of divorcing couples, supported by legal, financial, and mental health professionals on the front lines of traditional adversarial divorce, demand a more constructive alternative built on fairness and respect. These professionals have developed the Collaborative Practice model.

The Collaborative Practice approach to divorce is based on three principles:

A written agreement not to go to court
An honest exchange of information by both spouses
A solution that takes into account the highest priorities of both spouses and their children

Mutual respect is fundamental to the Collaborative way. You may stop being spouses, but you don’t suddenly stop being human beings deserving of dignity and consideration. When respect is given and received, discussions are likely to be more productive and an agreement reached more easily. Collaborative Divorce keeps your divorce matters private, unlike traditional litigated divorce where all of your personal business and “dirty laundry” is a public record.

Research has also shown Collaborative Divorce saves as much as thirty percent of the cost of a traditional litigated divorce.

The Collaborative Process is a More Peaceful Way to Divorce

The Collaborative Divorce Process is a respectful, peaceful and dignified process that is designed to ensure that the participants and their children successfully transition to the next chapter of their lives. In the Collaborative Process, the clients retain maximum control over the outcome of their case, as opposed to turning over the decision-making to a judge who does not have intimate knowledge of their particular family.

All of our members are committed to the Collaborative Process, a non-adversarial approach designed to resolve family law conflicts in a mutually-beneficial manner. Collaborative attorneys are specialists in settling disputes. Clients and professionals work together respectfully, and in good faith, to gather the information needed to reach an agreement. The goal is to achieve a “win/win” outcome for all participants.

Typically, clients and professionals meet together to discuss all issues, plan for information gathering and make interim arrangements, as necessary. A team will be assembled based on the individual participants’ needs. The team may consist of two collaborative attorneys and the clients, or can include attorneys, communication coaches, child specialists (both roles are filled by mental health professionals), and a neutral financial specialist. Information gathered will be shared with the other clients and team members in order to clarify each participant’s interests, and to stimulate ideas for possible solutions. All communications made during the Collaborative Process remain confidential, and will not be used as evidence if the case later goes to court.

The clients, through their collaborative attorneys agree to voluntarily provide necessary documents and information early in the process which serves to drastically reduce the cost of the formal discovery that is often a hallmark of litigated divorces. Full disclosure and open communication at every stage of the Collaborative Process facilitates a faster and more satisfying resolution than if the matter had been litigated in court.

A settlement that meets the approval of both clients can then be fashioned and memorialized in a written agreement that is filed with the court. This method of collaboratively handling conflict is designed to minimize hostility, and to foster a more cordial relationship in the future.

The guiding principles of the Collaborative Process are particularly well-suited to issues of family law and divorce. All clients and Collaborative Professionals agree at the outset that the case will not be litigated, If the case cannot be settled, the attorneys and other professionals must withdraw, and the attorneys will assist the participants in finding new attorneys to help them resolve the case through the traditional court system. Even in these cases, useful groundwork will have been laid for a more effective way for clients to work cooperatively, and to resolve their differences in the future.

Your Collaborative Team Professionals

Collaborative Divorce offers the services of legal, mental health, and financial professionals working together as a team to help our clients through the divorce process. Given that the outcome will affect lives long after the divorce is final, the goal is to help both parties make thoughtful rather than reactive decisions.

Legal Professionals: Attorneys who handle the legal aspects of your divorce to ensure all arrangements are proper, legal, and binding.

Mental Health Professionals: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists, psychologists, or Licensed Clinical Social Workers who function as a divorce coach to help you deal with stress or any emotional issues which may arise for either party or your children. Your divorce coach can teach you communication skills to avoid impasses. Psychological stability from both sides is essential to making the right decisions and reaching a peaceful settlement as soon as possible. Cases with difficult child custody issues may also employ a Child Custody Specialist to assess and convey the unique needs of each child.

The Importance of Utilizing A Child Specialist

Financial Professionals: Financial specialists including certified financial planners, certified Divorce Financial Planners or Certified Public Accountants (CPAs) who specialize in the financial and tax aspects of divorce. Their purpose is to help both parties reach a mutually acceptable financial agreement while assisting you in making manageable long-term fiscal decisions.

Collaborative Professionals offer specialized services, having undergone extensive training in Collaborative mediation method and procedures. Members of Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County have developed insights into all aspects of the divorce process. Our three independent professionals understand how to work together as a team in your best interests.

The Role of the Neutral Financial Specialist

FAQ’s

Do my spouse and I each have our own Collaborative family law attorney?

Yes. Each person retains his or her own Collaborative family law attorney to advise and assist in negotiating an agreement on all your issues. Your attorney keeps you informed throughout the process of your rights and gives you sound legal advice about your situation. Collaborative divorce attorneys make every effort not to aggravate the tensions that already exist between you and your spouse. Their role is to create a safe environment for you to assess your options and work fairly to negotiate for a resolution everyone can live with.

My spouse and I are very angry with each other right now. Is Collaborative practice only for people who are getting along, or “amicable divorces”?

Not at all. Anger is a natural response when our primary relationships change, even if we are unhappy in the relationship. In a Collaborative divorce, you will receive support and guidance from team professionals such as divorce coaches who can help you and your spouse process all the strong feelings including grief and anger that are a natural result of divorce.

In a conventional litigated “no fault” divorce, people are left with no way to deal with anger or grief. Unresolved feelings end up fueling fights over other issues such as child custody, support or property division. In Collaborative practice, we help you learn to express emotions in a direct, respectful way.

If either of us decides to leave the Collaborative process, do we still have the protection of confidentiality?

In the first meeting, you will each sign a participation agreement. It addresses the issue of confidentiality, stating the communications taking place in the course of the Collaborative process will not be admissible in court.

Why use a Collaborative team for my divorce?

Collaborative Divorce offers the services of legal, mental health, and financial professionals working together as a team to help clients through the divorce process.

Legal Counsel: Though Collaborative Practice seeks to avoid going to court, the settlement is still a legal agreement. Therefore, it is essential that a lawyer be involved to advise you on all matters of law including child custody, child support, and division of property. Collaborative lawyers have committed to the Collaborative model through training in the unique aspects of the Collaborative model, working with divorce coaches and financial neutrals.

Divorce Coach (Mental Health Professional): Divorce is a major life transition. While it marks the end of one part of your life, it is also the beginning of another. A mental health professional helps you manage the pain and strain of changing relationships, while focusing on foals for the present and the future. Working with you to make the most of your strengths, your mental health professional assists you in being at your best during the divorce process, then taking positive steps to a new life.

Financial Professional: The divorce settlement will in part determine your financial well-being for many years to come. It is critical it be soundly structured, especially if your spouse assumed more responsibility for your family’s finances. The guidance of a financial professional, referred to as a “financial neutral,” will help protect your interests. Reviewing all assets and incomes, the financial neutral will assist you in developing viable financial options for your future. Evaluating the choices, you and your lawyer can then construct a comprehensive plan for the next stage of your life.

Child Specialist: Children may suffer most from divorce. They may not be able to understand or express their feelings. Their world is being turned upside down in ways they cannot comprehend. Communication with parents may be difficult if not impossible. An important goal of Collaborative Practice is to assure children are a priority, not a casualty. The Child Specialist is a mental health professional skilled in understanding children. He or she will meet with your children privately, helping them express their feelings about the divorce. Encouraging children to think creatively and with optimism about the future, the Child Specialist communicates their feelings, concerns and hopes to the Collaborative team for consideration when planning for the family’s future.

What qualifications are required to be a Collaborative Divorce professional?

Attorney: Collaborative Practice attorneys are family law attorneys licensed the State Bar of California, who have completed specific training in Collaborative Practice which meets the Standards and Ethical Practices established by the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP).

Financial Neutral: Certified Financial Planners (CFP), Certified Divorce Financial Planners (CDFA) or Certified Public Accountants (CPAs) who specialize in the financial and tax aspects of divorce, who have also completed specific training in Collaborative Practice.

Divorce Coaches and Child Specialists: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (MFT), Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW), psychologists, or psychiatrists including child psychologists/psychiatrists who function as Divorce Coaches to help deal with stress and emotional issues that may arise for family members including children and to team communication skills to avoid impasses. Psychological stability from both sides is essential to making the right decisions and reaching a peaceful settlement as soon as possible. Cases with difficult child custody issues may also employ a Child Specialist to assess and communicate the unique needs of each child.

What are the fees of the Collaborative divorce professionals?

Though each professional works on a team, each one bills independently for his or her services. This ensures you as the client receive independent advice and representation. A professional’s fees will also vary depending on experience, specific training, and other factors. Ask the professional you consult about his or her fee schedule and retainer.

When we reach a settlement through the Collaborative process, will it be as legally binding as if we went to court?

Yes. Your Collaborative attorneys will prepare an enforceable legal judgment that will set out the terms of your settlement. You will not need to personally appear in court to finalize your divorce.

Where do I begin? How do I find a Collaborative professional?

This website provides a list of members who have been specially trained in the Collaborative approach. Any one of them will be able to sit down with you in a consultation to answer questions and inform you about the Collaborative process.

We also encourage you to read more in the informative articles on our Blog Page written by our members to help you, and to use our Resources and Links to help answer any additional questions or concerns at your convenience.

Testimonials About
Collaborative Divorce

Mark H.

“My friends who have gone through litigation found it horrible and expensive. The collaborative process short-cuts the frustration of court dates, arguing about every single point in front of a judge and the expensive costs of litigation.”

Stephen F.

“The collaborative process creates an environment of truth in which the interest of each spouse and each child are best served.”

Vicky B.

“I knew that it would be so much better for our daughter if my former husband and I could get along after our divorce because we would still have to deal with each other for the rest of our lives. We finished our divorce process a year ago. Our daughter is emotionally stable because we are able to communicate with each other and not have hurt feelings. I have so many friends who are going through divorces and can’t even talk to one another.”