What is a Divorce Coach and Why Do I Need One?

Divorce Coach and Spouse Talking About Divorce - Collaborative Divorce of Orange County
Divorce Coach and Spouse Talking About Divorce - Collaborative Divorce of Orange County

The Divorce Coach: A Vital Member of the Professional Collaborative Team

As has been proven, the collaborative model works so well because all of the members of the collaborative team play an equally-critical role in the success of the collaborative process. We know that emotions can run high during a divorce. We also know that emotions can get in the way of rational thinking, and the ability to access the cognitive areas of our brain, which is critical for effective problem-solving. Divorce Coaches are best-suited to help clients move past the emotion of a given impasse, and past the high emotions of the divorce itself, and to help clients focus on realistic options to obtain a more favorable outcome for their families.

What is the Role of a Divorce Coach?

A Divorce Coach is a licensed, mental health professional who has specialized training in Collaborative Divorce and Mediation. The Divorce Coach is a co-equal member of the clients’ Collaborative Divorce Team. In a full Collaborative Team, each spouse has a Divorce Coach. In some cases, clients choose to share one Divorce Coach to assist each of them through the collaborative divorce process or mediation.

The Divorce Coach helps clients translate goals into action. Of particular importance, they also assist in helping a client to understand his or her spouse’s views, and the impact of their own behavior on their spouse. This is critical in resolving impasses that often arise in the divorce process. The Divorce Coach helps the clients with their communication skills, and educates the clients about the impact of divorce on children. Additionally, the Divorce Coach assists clients in developing their mutual goals which serves to enhance their co-parenting relationship, both during and after divorce.

Divorce Coaches can be extremely helpful when there are emotionally-charged issues presented such as infidelity, emotional abuse, estrangement, alternative lifestyles, and substance abuse.

In addition, the Divorce Coaches assist clients in developing insight into their own emotions, actions and goals which helps clients not only during the divorce process, but well after the divorce has been concluded.

A Divorce Coach Is Not a Therapist

It is important to note that while a mental health professional who performs in the role of Divorce Coach may also have an active clinical therapy or counseling practice, that is NOT the role that he or she plays in a collaborative or mediated divorce. However, the expert training and breadth of experience that the Divorce Coach brings to the Collaborative Team redounds to the benefit of both the clients and the team in assisting with effective communication, development of ideas and creative approaches to problem-solving.

Why Do I Need a Divorce Coach?

Divorce Coaches perform a vital role when it comes to managing and overcoming the emotional obstacles presented in a divorce. They are particularly helpful in providing an environment for effective option-creation and problem-solving, especially at times when clients are bogged down by a challenging impasse. It is beyond valuable for clients to get a fresh perspective from the Divorce Coach, which then enables them to move on to more future-focused thinking, and ultimately on to resolution.

Not unexpectedly, the emotional aspects of a divorce often threaten to derail the peaceful resolution of a divorce. It is the Divorce Coach who is key in effectively assisting the clients with the deeply-held emotions that arise as a result of the end of a marriage, including all of the uncertainty and fear that accompany such momentous changes in a person’s life circumstances.

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